Gomu Gomu no Assasin´s Creed

Sabe quando você está peidando de bebado no bar, só tomando aquela cerveja que não da dor de cabeça no outro dia, geladinha, descendo com facilidade;aquela mesma que foi desejada desde as sete horas da manhã de segunda feira, quando saiu de casa para ir trabalhar, e só agora, sexta as 11 e ai meu pai que já ta tarde, foi possivel tomá-la? Imagina que o garçom chega e diz: essa e as outras de qualidade acabaram, só tem a marca com ão, a com nome da cidade do rio, e mais algumas com nome de remédio. Vossa senhoria aceita, e vê que não é a mesma coisa, dá até vontade de gomitar suas tripas de desgosto. Então pede um cuba libre(no meu caso, um Fidel livre, que é igual, mas sem a coca cola), e ai tudo volta a ficar legal, o mundo a brilhar, aquela garota que parece um dragão-de-komodo, que a pouco tinha começado a  ficar uma top model e estava voltando a ficar no estado original, triunfantemente se torna novamente a capa da Sexy Premium.

Essa é uma analogia que cabe bem na série Assasin´s Creed.

Franquia que em poucos anos alçou altos vôos, graças ao esmero da Ubisoft, cagou fora do pinico com aquela abominação estranha, que leva o título de terceiro da franquia(que se torna cada vez mais aquele garoto estranho da sala, que senta no fundo , roga maldições e conversa sozinho, devido aos DLCs lançados).

O enredo gira em torno de Monkey D. Kenway, um piratinha muito do levado que comeu a Akuma no mi e virou o homem borracha, e esta a procura do one…..ops, estação errada.

Na verdade, a historia se desenrola com um funcionário das industrias Abstergo, observando as memórias do avô de ConnorRatonhnhakéton,que mais parece nome de faraó que de nativo americano), Haytham Kenway.

Ele faz o que um pirata que faz parte da ordem dos assasinos(claro que é norma Jão, quem nunca viu um desses…..atrasado) faz no século 16, no Caribe:bebe rum, vai a bordéis, mata templários,fala “Aye”, canta Yo-ho-ho, saqueia, luta com duas espadas(com uma pintudice a lá uma cria entre Chuck Norris e A Noiva de Kill Bill)e fazendo o grande Barba Negra ficar com as pregas de sua flor mais escondida nervosas, com medo de tamanho “sangue no zóio”.

Com o jogo anterior, em termos de gameplay, o mundo nerd ficou como um filho de pais separados, que espera o papai ocupado vir te buscar para passear na frente de casa, mas está no bar com as moças sérias bebendo. Se entregarem o que prometeram no vídeo(BATALHA DE NAVIOS, YEAH BITCH) o jogo terá um potencial para ser jogo do ano; no entanto, um pé atrás se faz necessário com a série a partir de agora, mas a torcida para que esse jogo seja o Cuba libre(ou fidel mesmo, se você for discípulo da Catifunda como eu), depois da cerveja ruim.

Aproveite o vídeo abaixo que mostra as aventuras, do chapéu de palha(ops), quer dizer,Haytham, o assasino pirata.

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